Junior On Guard, A Tony Tantrum and Jolly Old Saint Jimmie

(Originally published on Jan. 1, 2008)

I decided to begin the year with a new NASCAR blog, “As the World Turns (Left),” and was hoping for motivation. Amazing the racing perspectives you can pick up while returning Christmas gifts with the missus.

* While Jan’Ell and I were at Toys ‘R Us, I noticed a couple of Fred Flintstone-powered versions of Jeff Gordon’s current ride and Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s former car, both still in their boxes. While Gordon’s proudly displayed the DuPont scheme, Junior’s had to settle for the emblem of Dale Earnhardt Inc.

That’s one of the advantages of Dale Jr. taking his leave from Budweiser as well as DEI. When you have such a powerful marketing tool as Junior, why limit it by having a signature sponsor improper for products geared toward young people? That said, when more and more items come out for Earnhardt’s new allegiances, will there be discussions on whether all the kiddie items sport the National Guard logo?

I understand why you wouldn’t have a 10-year-old’s Dale Jr. jacket display the name of an alcoholic beverage, lest you give the child fantastical ideas of how great beer must be when he’s still a decade away from drinking it and shouldn’t even be pondering those decisions when they are potentially so dangerous.

Can’t you say the exact same thing about the military?

What do you think? Just spare me the “You New York liberal slug who knows nothing about racing…” garbage (which I tend to get tons of). I’m from North Carolina, and it’s a fair question.

* Jan’Ell and I then went to Home Depot, where they have shopping carts that resemble Tony Stewart’s car so kids can sit in them and turn a wheel wherever they want. The 4-year-old in there was throwing a hissy fit, and I couldn’t help but notice how much his behavior resembled the guy who drives the real McCoy. But let me also credit his dad and my wife for their creativity.

The cart was defective, and Pop had to put his kid in a regular one, which helped exacerbate the lad’s mood. His dad explained that the tire had a flat, and Jan’Ell, from 8 feet way, added that she thought it was missing a lug nut. This kid really seemed to understand, and his face brightened. I say the next generation of NASCAR fans is well on its way.

* Next stop was Lowe’s. Sure, you expect a lot of Jimmie Johnson swag, but that place has so much JJ signage it has become a full-fledged shrine. The blow-up No. 48 with Santa sticking his piehole out the window initially seems like a little much for a front-yard decoration. But the beauty of pulling for the guy who has won consecutive titles? It makes that adornment just a tad less gaudy. (Notice I said “just a tad.”)