It's The Pits Trying To Keep Up With Crewmen

(Originally published on May 15, 2008)

CHARLOTTE, N.C.--As I sat in Section 101 of Time Warner Cable Arena Wednesday listening to the directions for the Media Pit Crew Challenge, I noticed that Glenn Frey's "Smuggler's Blues" was playing on the facility's speakers. If you ever saw the video, this story of the best laid plans ended with the protagonist slumped over his car thanks to a bullet.

I felt a similar hopelessness while trying to get five little lug nuts off a wheel during the preceding practice. Trent Cherry, a member of Ryan Newman's crew--which was victorious in the '07 Pit Crew Challenge--was plenty patient with me. But after a few minutes, it was time to move on. It was Krista Voda's turn, and folks, she smoked me.

I know when to cut my losses. In a path-of least-resistance move not seen since I dropped 10th-grade honors biology, I chose not to take a shot for time when the actual competition began. But my bruised ego aside, I learned something practical. We always talk about loose lug nuts getting teams in trouble. But on top of everything else tire changers also have to make sure not to screw in nuts too hard. If they do, as many of the amateur competitors did Wednesday, they'll never be able to get them off the next stop. It opened up my eyes even more about what amazing work these guys do.

(Oh, BTW, the SPEED team of Voda, Larry McReynolds, Rick Allen and Randy Pemberton beating the Alltel crew in a head-to-head matchup--thanks to a mysterious three-second penalty by the pros--equaled a gimme not seen since Michael Strahan sacked Brett Favre.)

* Thanks to the folks at RaceTalkRadio.com for having me on their show, Doin' Donuts, Monday night to talk about my Saturday night at Darlington. After admitting that the new pavement took away from the racing, I was asked whether I'd ever return. I said yes, simply because I still consider it a NASCAR "grand slam" event, which makes the outcome interesting even if the process of getting there has multiple lulls.

But NASCAR needs to do more to re-establish Darlington as such after dropping one date and moving another. A good way would be to bring back some new incarnation of the "Winston Million." There needs to be a bonus for winning three of the four between the Daytona 500, Darlington, Coca-Cola 600 and Allstate 400 at the Brickyard, Throw $5 million in the kitty. It might not be collected for years, but everybody will know that a win there is one of the sport's great prizes.

* Took a trip to the newly reopened museum on the campus of Hendrick Motorsports, and frankly I was pretty disappointed. The old version was a real museum, the centerpiece being a progressive display showing how Gordon and his team rallied to win the 2001 version of The Winston in a backup car after a crazy turn of events including a crash and a lengthy rain delay. That's gone, and now the "museum" is two-thirds gift shop. I don't care how much room is needed for Dale Earnhardt Jr. caps. That's weak!

* Getting a Hyundai as a rental was fairly unsettling, but everything was fine after I realized it included XM, allowing me to listen to the limited-time George Strait-only channel. But then I tuned down to Channel 16 and heard the word "bitch" deleted from Miranda Lambert's "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend." Huh? The same outfit that has Opie and Anthony on retainer just has to censor a country song? Why don't we get rid of the beer references next?